It happens only in India...

I got a fwded mail couple of days back...it contained an entry by Mr. Nandan Nilekani on his first day in parliament. Fact or fiction...its really funny and is a must read for everyone.

The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!!

After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence. Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!!

I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.

It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right.
We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!

I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”. Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider.

The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!! MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION. I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!!

The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this. The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy.

Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.

The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy. “You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”

Still no action???

Everything is back to how it used to be...India blaming Pakistan and 'warns' them of dire consequences if they don't act. Pakistan still in denial, plays a victim and US after initially supporting India, again praises Pakistan for their efforts to eliminate terrorism.

Everything is back to how it used to be...except for the people who lost their loved ones during those 3 days...things will never be the same for them.

India needs to take some action (I'm know govt. is making efforts but those are clearly not enough). US/UK or any other country is not going to help India...its our own fight which we have to fight alone. We can not run to US every time something happens and expect them to sort things out for us (its not fucking 5th class where you run to the teacher whenever someone is making fun of you).

The govt. needs to show some backbone (and grow some balls while they are at it). I'm not asking them to go postal on Pakistan like Israel but please take some action, apart from sharing the evidence (or facts or findings or whatever it is) with every damn country in the world and hoping that someone will stand up for you.

This time its regionalism...

As always I'm starting the blog by giving an excuse for not writing for a long time (almost an year now)...well I'm lazy and most of the time I don't have anything to write about. But I just couldn't stop myself from writing about what has been going on in Mumbai off late.

Mr. Raj Thackeray it trying to strengthen his political footing in the same fashion his uncle did many year back. Bala Baheb practically made a political career out of threating and using violence againt migrants from south india. They portray themselves as true guardians of marathis , but what they fail to realize is that they are causing more harm to marathis than actually helping them, both in the short and long run.

When MNS workers burn taxis and buses, only because the drivers are from one particular region of India, they should understand that the taxis and buses are being used by their 'Marathi Manoos' and they are causing unconvinced to Marathis as well. Moreover they are harming the image of marathis all over India. If tomorrow same kind of incidents start happening, all over India, against marathis, is Mr. Raj Thackeray going to protect them???

What really pisses me off is the inaction of the maharashtra govt and the police force. How can they allow such brutality to go on for so many days? Raj Thackarey points out that people from Bihar and UP and more prone to committing crimes since they are from lawless state...its pretty ironic that he has resolved to violence to prove this point.

Politicians in India can go to any lengths for power, they proved it by burning India by exploiting and manipulating people from different religions against each other and they are out again to harm India...only this time their weapon of choice is regionalism.